The Supposed To Problem

In a previous post I considered the difference between “being” and “doing”. I concluded that “being” in a way that is healing and constructive is really doing something quite different from what most of us do when we are “just being”. I confess to having a bias toward doing, specifically, doing to make things better, more specifically, to make me better because I always need fixing.

So the question of, “What should I do?”, is very important to me. The quick answer is that I should do what I’m supposed to do and I should not do what I’m not supposed to do. That way I won’t offend anyone. “Supposed to” is another very important phrase because my question is really, “What am I supposed to do?”.

Once in a while I realize that I don’t really know the meaning of a word that I use regularly. When that happens I pull out my dictionary (one of those book things with paper pages) and look up the word. That happened with “supposed to”. The phrase always carried some sense of obligation for me. My dictionary had entries for suppose and supposed. Suppose had several meanings. The first two were, “to assume to be true”, and “to believe, think or guess”. The definition for supposed included, “regarded as true, genuine, etc. without actual knowledge”.

The “without actual knowledge” part was enlightening. Indeed, many of the things I have done because I thought I was “supposed to” did not rest on any actual knowledge. My source of the obligation came from assuming that there was some outside authority figure who was issuing these supposed to cards. I never checked to see if there really was such a figure.

Even without any actual knowledge, I usually feel like I’m supposed to make me better because something obviously (isn’t it obvious?) needs to be better. If I’m not doing something to make me better (or fix me), I’m falling down on the job.

I began this essay thinking about deciding “what to do”. But now I realize that a more important issue is to understand just who this imaginary authority figure is who writes all those “supposed to” cards that I like to carry around. This figure is quite real in my learned realities, but I will never bump into him walking around in the material world. His “supposed to’s” are often negative and isolating so I assume he is the product of fear-based learning experiences. If his supposed to’s are fear-based, then it is OK if I ignore or replace him.

There it is! That’s what I’m supposed to fix. (Have I come back to where I started?)

This issues of “supposed to’s” and imaginary authority figures are not unique to my personal neuroses. Authority and supposed to’s are very big in many religions. After all, God is the ultimate source of supposed to cards. Dealing with “supposed to’s” from fear-based authority figures is a serious and widespread problem. It came as a surprise to me when I connected this authority figure issue with my holographic quantum field consciousness model. I realized (just two days ago) that there is no authority figure in the quantum intelligence. The field is hologram of resonating vibration patterns. Everything is connected to everything else. Everything influences everything else. The influence the field can exert in the material world is subtle, at the quantum level. And “the field” is what people have always called God. There is no authority figure in the field, or in God, that is anything like the figure that lurks in my inner landscape and seems to be ensconced in many churches. Those figures are all figments of our fear-based imaginations.

There is a flow in the field. The consciousness of the field is working hard to express ever more elegant things in the material world and we can choose to participate in the flow if we want, or not. But there is no authority issuing “supposed to” cards anywhere in the universe.

What an amazing idea.

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